96 months

I've forgotten about you, I no longer see you like I used to. I no longer know you by heart only what can be reminded through pictures and certain perfumes. No details, just a whole, a person, a scent, barely a feeling. I only feel hurt, the one I was left with for years. I no longer feel the love, just traces of anger and cold. The feeling of being left alone, but I cannot blame you for it anymore. I cannot. 

I've forgotten all about you, I remember you no more, I remember me no more. I don't feel you, I don't feel us, I feel only me. The man, not the boy. 

There are so many things I wish I had told you. Sorry most of all. Mostly for the years after you were gone. Sorry for dirten the memory of you, for being the one person who lines up after you in the conversation, mention or thought of you and your life, which for the record rarely happens. I stole your life, that is what people remember about you; me and what love can do to a boy. I made them forget about you, and for that I am sorry. 

I feel confused and guilty, I should love you still but I don't. I've gone numb, not sure if I feel too much or just nothing. It doesn't matter, because I do not miss you though I can no longer tell. I think I do, but I don't.